Wherever you are...there you are.

i got on a plane Sunday @ 1pm in Portland. next thing i knew it was Monday in Barcelona. and now its Tuesday. woke up at 2AM over here and haven't been able to get back to sleep. been reading. thinking.

definitely not happy with how i've been living. this book that Forest gave me has brought that to my immediate attention. though i've felt it. and i'm sure anyone who knows me feels it.

change isn't easy. and from reading the me from before this isn't something new. so the question becomes what will i do about it. how will i alleviate this consistent malaise that seems to haunt my conciousness. it wont be easy. i've been trained in a way of being for 30 years now. i've definitely had glimpses at other ways of doing things. periods of time when i was able to elevate for brief moments to a higher plane. sustaining this. really living in this. thats the goal. when i think about it, i really don't have another option. if i don't, i will never find the place or people or life i see. feel.

so shout out to FP for the kick start.